Sober stories from our communtiy
There are so many different reasons people become sober - and so many different ways sobriety can look. As we roll into ‘quitters week’ for dry January, BWF wanted to share some words of encouragement for those looking to walk away from alcohol for good.
For some, it begins with a single moment of clarity. For others, it comes after years of questioning what alcohol has been masking, numbing, or taking away. And for many, it’s not about rock bottom - it’s about choosing self discovery over self abandonment.
Below are three honest, powerful stories from 3 of our Brighton Wellness Festival community members, shared in their own words.
If you are struggling with your relationship with alcohol, there is help out there. Please skip to the end of the blog where we have added helplines.
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Matt Jones, Shamanic Healer
“I used to see alcohol as my nemesis. My kryptonite. That’s how I would describe my relationship with it over the years. I grew up knowing I had an addictive personality, but alcohol was the one I could actually see spiralling. I’d notice it getting out of control, rein it in, promise myself I’d stop. Then I’d think one drink wouldn’t hurt. And the cycle would begin again.
Every time I tried to give up or cut back, the future I imagined without alcohol felt bleak. Meetings just to stay on track. Avoiding pubs, bars, parties, anything that looked like fun. Alcohol had become my safety net for social anxiety, so without it, I believed I’d never meet new people. I wouldn’t be able to spend time with my friends because they’d all be drinking.
Alcohol was already creating a growing list of problems, including physical health issues. But the future without it looked just as bad, just in a different way.
During my healing journey, something shifted. I started addressing what I’d been numbing out for years, and as that softened, alcohol’s grip on me loosened too. I could feel it happening internally before anything changed externally.
I went to an alcohol free festival called Lovejam, and sober dancing was right up there with drowning on my list of biggest fears. Yet there I was, dancing. And not just getting through it, actually enjoying myself. That was another shift. The illusion cracked. Alcohol wasn’t necessary to have fun.
The first few months definitely came with tests. In fact, in the very first week, my friend had a karaoke birthday. But something inside me had already changed. When social anxiety showed up, I chose to face it and be with it, rather than numb it. That had been my pattern for most of my life.
A few months in, I realised something big. Alcohol hadn’t been helping my social anxiety at all. It had been creating it. Not just through dependence, but through what it was doing to my nervous system.
Now it feels like freedom. Those old images of hiding from alcohol, dying of FOMO, counting the seconds since my last drink, they simply aren’t true. I’ve been to bars, clubs, and situations that would once have felt high risk, and I’ve enjoyed my water without temptation.
What’s shifted too is how I see ‘fun’. I’ve realised I don’t actually want to be in a bar every weekend. Sometimes, sure. But I’ve replaced a lot of that with meals, activities, games, things you walk away from feeling like you gained something rather than lost time. I still see my friends. I still meet new people.
I feel healthier and more confident than ever. Giving up alcohol has given me back time, time I used to spend numbed out or hungover. A friend once said to me, if anyone doubts whether the work you do actually works, they just have to look at you. You’re a walking example of what’s possible. And it’s true. If you’d asked anyone who knew me whether I’d ever be alcohol free, they wouldn’t have believed it and I’d have never believed I’d end up preferring teas.
If I have any advice, it’s this. It is possible. Don’t buy into the mind’s fears or its projections of a lonely, boring future. The changes that come are shifts for the better. There are growing communities, events, and festivals where alcohol isn’t the focus and isn’t needed to enjoy life.”
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Hema Patel - RTT Hypnotherapist
“It was a Wednesday in September, and I was still going to sleep with a bucket by my bed just in case I threw up, from having had a VERY large night out the Friday before. I was grateful that I was no longer a teacher, because there was absolutely no way I could have taught Year 9 French that day! However, I was going through all the self-loathing and questioning of how had I done this to myself, WHY had I done this to myself? It seemed that on Friday night I'd lost the alarm bell that usually stopped me from going overboard.
On Saturday morning, my friend, who'd come over to stay, asked me how I was feeling. Rotten was the answer. She then said that we'd had 5 bottles of Rose between us. I didn't believe her. I remembered that I'd had vodka in a swanky bar, and face planted on the table in the booth. Possibly been asked to leave and somehow made it back to my flat. She invited me to check my purse and sure enough, I barely had any money left. We'd had 2 bottles during our meal and then 3 bottles at the club.
The reason I couldn't believe it is that I wasn't the type of person who could even drink one whole bottle of wine myself. So what had happened? I'd just bought a flat and moved in with my boyfriend at the time. I wasn't 100% sure I'd made the right decision. So instead of sitting with my feelings, a phrase I didn't even know at the time, I numbed the feelings. Pushed them down, distracted myself with partying and avoided reality.
I decided to cut down drinking after that, as there was no way I experiencing that intensity of a hangover and vomiting ever again. So I would just have the odd glass or two of Argentinian Malbec every so often or Veuve champagne if there was a celebration. The thing is...even after just a little bit of alcohol, I would feel rough for a few days or maybe catch a cold and feel run down. My body clearly wasn't getting on with alcohol anymore. So I stopped. Completely. No more vodka, lime and lemonades when out out. No more wine with a meal. Nada.
15 years on and that was undoubtedly one of the BEST health decisions I have ever made. I still carried on partying and still do. Instead I became the designated driver. Would put a bunch of bananas in the car. Have a banana on the way to the club and another on the way home. I'd carb load before going out, so I had the energy to dance till 2, 4 or 6am.
So when people say to me that I look young for my age, I'm 50, one of the reasons is that I don't have a lot of stress in my life - no marriage, no mortgage, no dependents. By choice. Another reason is 15 years of being alcohol free. I've not had any menopause or perimenopause symptoms. In the past year I've eaten mainly whole food and plant based at home.
I not only savour food more, now that I'm alcohol free, I savour LIFE more. I'm fully present. In the moment. No replaying the past or pre-playing the future. I've done a lot of work on healing from childhood, relationship and workplace trauma. I've made peace with the past, which enables me to enjoy the present and be open to the future. I don't judge people who choose to drink. I know that alcohol is one of many coping mechanisms for unhealed trauma, grief and loss. As Dr Gabor Mate says 'Ask not why the addiction. Ask why the pain.'
I go to clubs and music festivals where there is a lot of drinking, and other things, going on. It doesn't bother me. At a House music festival in Croatia, attended by thousands, I was one of only two people who were clean and sober. All I know is that I hear the music, I feel the music. I experience life differently. I'm not everyone's cup of tea and that doesn't bother me. Unintentional rhyme. I'm my cup of tea and that's all that really matters.
I'm free to live on purpose, with purpose. I'm free to experience wholeness within and oneness with all that is. I am free.”
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Megan Harries - Life & Sober Mindset Coach
“Five years ago, I stopped drinking alcohol.
And this one decision changed my life.
It hasn’t always been easy, but it has always been worth it and, hand on heart, it’s been the best decision I’ve ever made.
I grew up on the hedonistic ’90s club scene, supported by a ladette culture that normalised binge drinking and non-stop partying. During this time, I also worked in television production. A mix of long hours and high pressure – alcohol was everywhere.
It was unhealthy and exhausting, and I continued in this vein until I burned out in my 40s, when the lifestyle became unsustainable and my mental health, relationships and self-esteem were suffering.
My desire to lead an alcohol-free life was born out of a deep knowing that when I was drinking, I was not the real me. Underneath years of coping and conditioning, there was so much more – a life where I could be free to be me, have healthy, happy relationships and nurture my body and soul with things that bring me joy.
I took a long, hard look at myself, at society and culture, and at alcohol - the truths and the myths. I didn’t want to demonise alcohol, I wanted to understand it.
What surprised me most was realising how many women were silently struggling in the same way. Not addiction, just that uneasy feeling of ‘this isn’t working anymore’. And how little support there was for women who wanted to change without shame, labels, or extremes.
So, I studied. I trained. I listened. I did the inner work.
I built Happy Hour Coaching so I could make something meaningful out of the very thing that once felt heavy and limiting. Turning my own experience into a way of supporting other women has been one of the most rewarding parts of this journey.
Today I’m a Life & Sober Mindset Coach and the founder of Happy Hour Coaching. I work one-to-one across all areas of life and run group circles where women can share, reflect and grow in a safe and supportive space. I help alcohol become small and insignificant while confidence, clarity and self-worth grow.
As 2025 draws to a close, I’m delighted and honoured to be featured in The Reignelle, a business and wellness podcast, which champions female founders. Huge thanks to Mel and her team for believing in me and this work: https://thereignelle.com/megan-harries-happy-hour-coaching/
Letting go of alcohol was my gateway to freedom and growth - I walk taller, laugh longer and sleep like a baby. It really is the most incredible upgrade.
So here's to a new year filled with courage, joy and little moments of magic.”
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Where you can get support
Thank you to each of our community members for sharing so openly and generously.
If you’re sober-curious, newly alcohol-free, or somewhere in between there are people who can support you, such as our BWF community member Megan Harries.
Free Helplines:
Here are some trusted UK support services:
Alcohol Change UK
Information, tools and support for changing your relationship with alcohol.
alcoholchange.org.uk
Drinkline (confidential helpline)
Free, confidential advice for anyone worried about their drinking (or someone else’s).
0300 123 1110 (UK)
We Are With You
Free, confidential support for alcohol and drug use, including online resources.
wearewithyou.org.uk
NHS Alcohol Advice
Guidance, self-check tools, and where to get help.
nhs.uk/live-well/alcohol-advice/
If you feel unsafe, at risk, or need urgent emotional support right now:
Samaritans (24/7): 116 123 (UK)
samaritans.org